[/zn/]

Is it sexual harassment if you like it? Asking for a friend.

One of the excuses harassers use is that "they" (the objects of their interest) "like it."

But mutually consensual attention is by definition not unwelcome, though it can be unprofessional at work, while harassment by definition is unwelcome attention.

The main thing with female employees in the sports world is that they are striving to be taken seriously as professionals. That gets undermined by guys who keep trying to hit on them at work.

[Elvis]

https://apnews.com/d5368ad730adeb5c8f69 ... ce=Twitter

Washington owner Snyder vows culture change amid allegations

By STEPHEN WHYNO

Washington NFL owner Dan Snyder said Friday he’s committed to improving the culture inside the team after allegations of sexual harassment, while the league will wait for a law firm’s review before taking action.

The Washington Post reported Thursday that 15 female former employees said they were sexually harassed during their time with the team. Snyder said the behavior described in the story “has no place in our franchise or society.”

He hired District of Columbia law firm Wilkinson and Walsh to conduct an independent review of team policies, culture and allegations of workplace misconduct. The league said in a statement it will meet with lawyers after the investigation is complete and will act based on the findings.

Snyder also pledged to make organizational changes.

“Beth Wilkinson and her firm are empowered to do a full, unbiased investigation and make any and all requisite recommendations,” Snyder said. “Upon completion of her work, we will institute new policies and procedures and strengthen our human resources infrastructure to not only avoid these issues in the future but most importantly create a team culture that is respectful and inclusive of all.”

He said the commitment to establishing a new culture and higher standard began with the hiring of Ron Rivera as coach this year. Rivera told The Athletic he was brought in to change the culture and “create an environment of inclusion.”

The NFL said it expects the team and all employees to be cooperative but is not yet making its own review of the team.

“These matters as reported are serious, disturbing and contrary to the NFL’s values,” the league said. “Everyone in the NFL has the right to work in an environment free from any and all forms of harassment.”

Director of player personnel Alex Santos, assistant Richard Mann II and longtime broadcaster and senior vice president Larry Michael are no longer with the team. Michael announced Wednesday he was retiring after 16 years.

Santos, Mann, Michael and former business executives Dennis Greene and Mitch Gershman were mentioned in the Post story.

[St. Loser Fan]

I'd appreciate input from the message board legal experts.

[AvengerRam]

I'd appreciate input from the message board legal experts.

Its difficult to fully address this issue without knowing the context of the NDAs.

If these former employees were paid some sort of settlement/severance in exchange for general releases that contained non-disclosure/confidentiality provisions, then the suggestion that the team should waive those clauses is pretty ridiculous. No company would do that, having already, in essence, paid for silence.

[/zn/]

Lindsay Jones@@bylindsayhjones
I am so fortunate to work with (now and in the past) so many incredible men, who have been supportive mentors and allies. We all can do better, and I appreciate all of you who are working with us to do so.

When we talk about men being allies for women working in sports, and specifically in sports media, here's what we mean: 1) Amplify and share the work of your female colleagues 2) Listen when we say harassment happens 3) When you see it/hear it, speak up, don't laugh along.

4) There are entire sports media companies built on the platform of misogyny; paling around with them makes you complicit and makes many of your female coworkers uncomfortable. 5) Be especially aware of the challenges women face at events like the combine + senior bowl.

[St. Loser Fan]

Its difficult to fully address this issue without knowing the context of the NDAs.

If these former employees were paid some sort of settlement/severance in exchange for general releases that contained non-disclosure/confidentiality provisions, then the suggestion that the team should waive those clauses is pretty ridiculous. No company would do that, having already, in essence, paid for silence.

Can either party say there was a cash settlement or is "there is a NDA in place" all they need to say and don't have to expand any further?

[AvengerRam]

Can either party say there was a cash settlement or is "there is a NDA in place" all they need to say and don't have to expand any further?

That depends on the document. Agreements often have provisions that state that if an inquiry is made, the parties will state only that the matter has been resolved, or something to that effect.

Its important to note, though, that an NDA will not prevent the women from providing testimony pursuant to a subpoena in a court proceeding.

[St. Loser Fan]

From one reporter.

https://theathletic.com/1934661/2020/07 ... from-this/

Sitting down to write this took the longest time. I’ve dealt with my fair share of writer’s block. But I’ve never written anything that required me to grapple with and talk about the parts of myself still hurting and not completely healed.

It’s even harder when my usual methods of clearing my head can’t help me. Most of the time, I’ll play basketball, but because of COVID-19, I can’t resort to that. And my other favorite choice of listening to music to power me through falls flat because what song or playlist do you pick as you prepare to write about being sexually harassed?

The Washington Post published an article on Thursday detailing allegations of sexual harassment and verbal abuse that several female employees of the Washington football team and reporters covering the team endured over the last decade.

I am one of the two reporters who spoke on the record about being sexually harassed while covering the team. I did not do so lightly.

Before I agreed to talk to the Post’s reporter, I consulted with our legal and communications leaders at The Athletic. I asked them, “What are the cons of me speaking out about what happened to me?” I wanted to know the potential repercussions of my decision and I asked them to be frank with me about the potential consequences of talking publicly.

It ranged from not being believed, being shut out of covering the team, retribution, trolls on social media, to my family and friends finding out and them being subjected to commentary about what happened to me and more.

However, in the talks, a common theme occurred: to do whatever I was comfortable with. They wanted me to think about what would allow me to sleep at night and give me the best chance to begin healing.

As I said in my introductory article announcing my decision to come to The Athletic, I don’t like to talk about myself. I don’t like attention, in general. Ask anyone close to me; I try to be pretty incognito. And I especially don’t like to discuss things that leave me vulnerable to future hurt publicly. But I decided to speak to the Post, and I decided to write this first-hand account because I think my speaking out can help someone else.

Ease the pain they’re going through. Give someone else the courage to speak up. Make someone think twice about doing this to someone else. I have to believe those things, because if not, what was the point of me enduring all of this? I have to genuinely believe some good will come of this situation.

So I’m opening up about how it feels to be sexually harassed. I’m opening up about what it was like after I was sexually harassed and what it felt like to have one of the worst things that have ever happened to me dredged up. And I’m doing so because I pray to God that someone else doesn’t have to go through what I experienced.

I was on assignment at the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis in 2019.

On March 2, I received a text message at 12:51 a.m. from a colleague informing me that director of pro personnel Alex Santos said, ‘Hey,’ and that I’ve really been working the hot comb on my hair. It wasn’t unusual for Santos or anyone I worked with to tell me that my hair looked nice. At 12:58 a.m., I sent my colleague a text message letting him know that I was at Prime 47, a local steakhouse, and I made my way to the group of local reporters, Santos, and another team employee.

Santos came over and apologized to me about a comment he made earlier in the day to another reporter and me. I’d seen him that afternoon with another member of the staff and asked if I’d see them later at Prime 47. He responded he wouldn’t go because there would be too many media members there and he “doesn’t fuck with us.” I asked him at Prime 47 if I’d ever done anything to offend him, and he said no, but that another media member years earlier had burned him really bad. He apologized for taking his frustration out on the other reporter and me.

I told him to reach out to me if there was ever anything I reported that wasn’t right or that he took exception to. I offered to give him my number for this purpose, and he said he didn’t need it, because if he truly needed to get to me, he had his ways of doing so. He said I had a good spirit and he genuinely liked me as a person because he’d seen how nice I was to everyone at the team’s practice facility in Ashburn.

It was at that point that the conversation shifted, and he asked me if the reporter I’d been texting told me what he said. I told him, ‘Yes, he mentioned you’d asked about me and said my hair looked nice.’

Then he asked if the reporter told me the rest of what he said, and I said, ‘No.’

Santos informed me that he’d told my colleague that, “I had a little wagon for an ass,” and that this had been mentioned to other scouts on the team.

He then said that I “wore the fuck out of the jeans” I had on the day before, and that he found me very attractive. He asked my colleague to tell me that, because no one expected to see me out on Friday night, and he informed me that he asked my colleague not to tell me that via text messages, because he didn’t want it in writing.

I told Santos that I liked him and our interactions, but those comments weren’t appropriate, and he knew they weren’t right, because he asked my friend not to text them to me.

I also added he shouldn’t be saying those kinds of things to me, my friend, or other employees of the team, because I didn’t want anyone to be under the impression that I get down like that. I was annoyed and embarrassed to hear that I’d been talked about in that manner.

Santos proceeded to change the subject, saying that he knew I had a girlfriend, but that if I didn’t he’d be my boyfriend. I told him that wouldn’t be the case, because I don’t date people I work with. But more importantly, I do have a girlfriend, and he has a wife, so we didn’t need to play hypotheticals, and there was just no chance in hell of this happening.

After that, Santos mentioned his wife and showed me pictures of his kids, so I thought we were moving past the situation. I even showed him a picture of my girlfriend, to which he commented I was definitely the more attractive of the two of us, and then he asked me if he was my type.

I reiterated, no. He restated the question, more adamantly, and I made it exceptionally clear that he isn’t my type, I don’t date men or women I work with, I’m not physically attracted to him, and I definitely don’t entertain people in relationships. He made one final comment about wearing me down with his humor and charm if I was single, and at that point, he attempted to grab my hip, and I moved away enough that it ended up being a pinch on my side.

I told Santos I really just wanted to have a good working relationship. I asked him to discontinue his unwelcome advances and to discontinue comments about me to my colleagues.

The entire exchange was witnessed by a group of colleagues, which bothered me tremendously.

Santos propositioning me to cheat with him triggered another painful experience that I ended up telling him, in the hopes he’d stop asking me about potentially dating him. I was cheated on not even a year before, which caused me to experience the worst depression I’ve ever endured.

I couldn’t get out of bed; I cried regularly for months; I had chest pains, no appetite and was in a complete haze for weeks after the situation.

It pissed me off that he thought I was the kind of person to participate in his extra-marital affair.

He thought that of me, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. I told him I couldn’t imagine putting his wife or my girlfriend at the time through what I had gone through. It is a debilitating and numbing feeling. It caused me to miss important milestones, lose sleep and peace of mind.

And despite being angry about the entire situation, I still tried to be polite, because pissing off or clowning the director of pro personnel would only have negative repercussions. I didn’t want to be shut out of the relationships I’d just forged that offseason.

My first year on the beat was hard.

I’d felt so good after attending the Senior Bowl and combine that offseason, because I finally felt like I was gaining some footing in this job.

However, in one 25-minute interaction, I was petrified that the work I’d done that season and those two months was in jeopardy.

So I played nice.

I straddled a line of being forceful and resolute, and not doing anything to possibly piss him off, even though he was making me feel like shit in that moment.

When Santos left, two male colleagues walked up to me and told me how upset they were about what had just happened. One, in particular, was especially unhappy, because Santos had done this to another female reporter, Nora Princiotti, who was no longer on the beat. Princiotti also spoke to The Washington Post. I had heard about the situation loosely, but nothing in-depth, and up to that point Santos had never said anything to me beyond how nicely I maintained my hair.

As I continued speaking to my male colleagues, the conversation turned toward informing Tony Wyllie, who was then the vice president of communications for the football team. They were willing to make a complaint on my behalf, but I told them I’d handle it myself.

I informed my bosses that night and a formal complaint was filed.

Wyllie and I have known each other since I was a junior in college. He was one of two higher-ups in the building who pushed for this to be investigated and taken seriously.

My bosses and The Athletic were furious with how I’d been treated. One time was too many times for them.

Over the course of a month, they pushed hard for the team to reprimand Santos. In all of my conversations about what I wanted, I said I just wanted there to be some punishment. I never asked for him to be fired, because I worried that if I pushed too hard that there would be retribution. That scared me. I was so nervous about being blackballed when free agency opened in 2019, I didn’t even try to reach out to the people I’d made relationships with. They were his subordinates, and if he told members of his staff what he thought of me before, what would stop him now?

The experience forced me to alter my approach in reporting and writing stories. For example, Landon Collins was the biggest free-agent signing for the team last offseason.

I wanted to find a creative way to tell that story without dealing with Santos and his staff, who’d have been directly involved in the team’s recruitment of Collins, as the investigation into Santos’ behavior was ongoing.

So I interviewed retired running back Clinton Portis about the former Giants safety signing with the team.

I was applauded for that story, but I felt like shit afterward.

I played so small during last year’s free agency period out of fear, and I’m still disappointed in myself. I’m a competitive person, and I didn’t even give myself a chance.

Ultimately, the team did not reveal its punishment for Santos, but our legal team conveyed to me that he did want to apologize to me. He asked to do so on a few occasions, and after speaking with my bosses, I told them I’d accept a public apology since he had embarrassed me in public.

The first day of rookie minicamp, Santos apologized to me with a colleague present, and I told him I accepted his apology and just wanted to move past the situation.

There were no issues from there. If I saw Santos, I’d speak and be cordial, because being mad wasn’t going to hurt anyone besides me. There was even a point at the Senior Bowl in 2020 where I saw him sitting in the bleacher alone, and I let him know sincerely that I wasn’t mad. I wished the situation hadn’t happened, but I did genuinely forgive him for my own sanity. Santos has apologized to me profusely on several occasions and for everything that I had to deal with in the aftermath.

But a few months later, I would have to relive that painful experience of public humiliation.

This Wednesday, I was at the hospital with my dad, who was undergoing a medical procedure. Instead of being focused on his well-being, I was in and out of his hospital room talking to my bosses, our communications and legal team preparing to speak to the Washington Post.

I’ve been in a knot since Sunday when I was tipped off that a story was coming out that would possibly touch on what had happened to me at the 2019 combine. I spent all day Monday in a haze waiting for the shoe to drop.

I was completely unable to focus on my work. I’ve cried so many times since Sunday about this ordeal being brought back up.

Sixteen months after Santos sexually harassed me at Prime 47, the situation is still a topic of conversation.

I had to tell my dad on the car ride home from the hospital that this story was coming out.

I sat in a room at home with him as he read about what these other women and I went through.

I couldn’t count all the times he sighed as he read over the piece. Or the number of times he just shook his head and didn’t say anything.

Instead of worrying about his recovery, he’s worried about what is going to happen to me. My parents have gotten calls to their house looking for a comment from me.

I hate that.

I hate that I had to let my family know this happened to me.

I hate how much it still hurts me and makes me upset.

I hated seeing the wild, irresponsible and reckless speculation around this story, as well.

I was a part of this story and said nothing as the Post reported it out. I am beyond disappointed by the speculation that occurred in the days leading up to this story. It was harmful and hurtful behavior, and doing such things makes it harder for people to want to talk about these matters.

I know that talking about this publicly could make my life harder. I understand that this may make some people look at me differently. I accept those possibilities.

However, I am desperately hoping speaking up prevents someone else from having to deal with any measure of what I’ve experienced, because it always sticks with you.

As I write this, I’ve started having terrible chest pains from anxiety.

I have 400 messages in my phone across platforms and texts, and that is giving me anxiety and heartache, but if it means someone else doesn’t have to suffer the ways I have, then I can live with that.

I can go to sleep knowing that I did the right thing speaking up and possibly giving someone else the strength to speak their truth or prevent someone else from being subjected to this kind of behavior.

I have asked countless subjects to trust me when I go in to interview them. I’ve asked too many people to count to talk about the worst things that have happened to them. I’ve told people I’ve interviewed that I’d never ask them to do something I’m not comfortable doing myself.

There’s nothing easy about writing this. I’m talking about being sexually harassed, my sexuality, my mental health, and all kinds of things people can use against me months after being called a nigger publicly on an Instagram Live when I was interviewing an NFL player.

I still believe, even though it scares the hell out of me, that this situation is my turn to do what I’ve asked others I’ve interviewed to do with me – be vulnerable.

People keep telling me I am courageous, but the truth is, at 27 and in only my third season covering the team, I didn’t want to have to step up like this.

I don’t want my colleagues to have to continue to go to bat for me. I don’t want people to constantly have to have my back. I don’t want bad things to keep happening to me. People always say you get the energy you put out in the world, but no one can explain why all of these hurtful things keep happening to me? I’ve tried so hard to be kind and nice to people, and yet, these traumatic experiences continue to occur. That’s hard to digest.

I don’t want to always dress like so much of a tomboy when I cover the team, but frankly, I don’t feel as comfortable dressing another way.

I only dress up for game days, because I go out of my way to draw as little attention to me as possible. I just want to go to work every day and be judged for how I perform in that arena.

I love my job still, but sometimes, it doesn’t feel like my job loves me as much as I love it.

Even after this incident, I continued to cover the team and its players respectfully. As this storm was brewing, I still worked diligently over the weekend to help a colleague break the news of recent firings of two front-office employees, including Santos.

I have continued to take the high road, keep my head up, and be professional no matter how many times I just wanted to disappear and be away from everything and everyone. But the reality is, taking the high road this often is tiresome. I’m worn out from all of this. I often wonder, ‘Am I asking too much to just want to do my job?’

I want to continue covering the team unimpeded. I want to continue working with many of the great people I’ve met over my two years on the beat.

I want other women coming behind me to never experience what I have in the last 16 months. And I recognize that I am fortunate I had a company that so demonstrably supports me. I have 162 colleagues in our NFL Slack channel ready to go to war for me, and more outside of that within the company. I know some women going through what I went through and have no support, so I know this is harder for them than it was for me. And I hope they can find strength, in their own time, to address these matters however they see fit and will bring them peace.

I don’t want to be blackballed or mistreated in the course of doing my work. I hope work environments, not only in sports but broadly, examine the cultures they’re creating and make the necessary changes if the said environment isn’t conducive to a safe workspace for all employees.

This first-person account serves as my statement around the matter – how I feel, what it was like and where my head is at now. I want to move forward from this, so I’ve said everything that I need to say about my experience with sexual harassment. I won’t be speaking further.

[snackdaddy]

One of the excuses harassers use is that "they" (the objects of their interest) "like it."

But mutually consensual attention is by definition not unwelcome, though it can be unprofessional at work, while harassment by definition is unwelcome attention.

The main thing with female employees in the sports world is that they are striving to be taken seriously as professionals. That gets undermined by guys who keep trying to hit on them at work.

I worked with a few women who could make me blush. And that ain't easy to do.

[/zn/]

I worked with a few women who could make me blush. And that ain't easy to do.

Yeah that happens. But that's not harassment. Not all inappropriate or unprofessional behavior is harassment.